So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my poor anus
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
