Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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