i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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