Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
