Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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