Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
