this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
