Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
