Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
