he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
