I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
