Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
