38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
