If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
