As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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