Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize