so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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