we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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