Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
