On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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