Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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