I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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