Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
