i think my mom watched the whole time
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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