I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
