Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
