Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
