i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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