I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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