The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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