They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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