You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
