I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
