i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
