Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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