yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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