is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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