you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
