The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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