you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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