By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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