the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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