1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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