Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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