she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
