Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
