Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
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Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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