Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Holy shit dude........stairs
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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