Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
