when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
