I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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