I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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