My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
