The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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