I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize