Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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