Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
