This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
