Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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