but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
