I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
